did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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