you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
