check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
