Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
