He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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