For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
