like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
