Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
