im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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