My friends, they love my intelligence
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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