I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
