I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
