Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
