So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
