Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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