He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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