Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
