I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
