The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
