Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
tell your sister to shave her snatch
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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