He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
