I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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