I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
