So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
