Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You took a bar mat shot.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
