We're facebook friends in real life
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
