Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
