I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
