When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
