they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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