i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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