JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
