that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
