right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
