So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
