okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
All I want is dick and wine.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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