Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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