The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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