Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
