More tranny stories later!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You made out with two different species that night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
