Your mouth is God's brothel.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Randomize
