Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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