Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
