it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
