Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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