dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
