my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
