it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
