All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
