In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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