found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
