Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
