she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
