i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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