Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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